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Blaine Anderson • Dating Coach
What to text after a first date, and when, from a coach
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Figuring out what to text after a first date can feel tricky or even intimidating. And let me just say, there is a lot of bad information out on the internet about what you should text after a first date. So in this video, I'm going to talk a little bit about what to text after a first date, when to send that message, why the three-day rule is stupid, and answer some other frequently asked questions. If we haven't met before, my name's Blaine, I'm a dating coach for men, and welcome to my channel. So first, let's address what to text. What you text a woman after the first date is going to depend on two things.
First, where do you stand? If sparks were flying and there was an undeniable deep connection, you're going to send something different than if you're not sure where you stand. And second, what do you want? If you are eager to plan a second date, then that is going to be a different message than if you're questioning that there is compatibility. For the sake of this video, let's say that you think the date went well, but you're not 100% certain where you stand, and that you'd like a second date, but you don't want to say the wrong thing. In this case, the pattern you're going to follow is a two-part message.
Message one, you want to say you had fun and reference a detail from the date. And message two, ask her a question that continues the conversation. So for example, let's say you went to Taco Tuesday with her. Message one might say, Hey, I had a great time last night. Those tacos were pretty good too. Message two would say, How's your day going? Also, if you are struggling with what to text or to come up with a detail from the date, you can also take a more direct approach. That might look like this. Message one would say, Hey, I had fun meeting you last night.
Message two, I'd enjoy seeing you again, so let me know if you feel the same way, and I can check in later this week to set something up. Smiley face. The first approach is better because it is more conversational and organic, but the reality is if you had a great first date and she wants to see you again, the second approach will also work. Okay, now how soon after the date should you text? You're going to text her around noon or mid-afternoon the following day. Texting any sooner could signal you are too interested, and waiting much longer will signal you're not interested. And the stronger the connection on the date, the sooner it's okay to text.
For example, if you shared a hot and heavy kiss on the date and you couldn't stop blabbering about how you both couldn't wait to see each other again, and maybe you even planned a second date already, first of all, good for you. Second of all, it would be totally appropriate to actually send the follow-up text that same night. You might send a simple message saying, I had the best time with you tonight. Happy face. Or let me know when you get home so I know you're safe. If you're not 100% sure when to text though, the safest approach is to just wait until around noon the following day and follow the text pattern that I mentioned earlier.
Okay, let's talk about the three-day rule. I have seen some questionable texting advice on the internet, such as the three-day rule, and I'm honestly hesitant to even bring it up because it is bullsh**. Still, I am going to talk about it because I want to dispel some misconceptions you may have about texting women. It is true that looking too eager can signal desperation and turn women off, but acting like somebody you're not, like trying to play it cool, is also going to always turn women off. Plus, quality women with a lot of options rarely wait around for guys who are playing it cool. In short, do not wait three days to text a woman you like after a date.
Let's talk about some frequently asked texting questions. When should I ask her on a second date? There is no rush to confirm the second date, but if you both enjoyed the first date and want to see each other again, you'll want to make that happen within a week of the first date, unless there is some outside factor like one of you is traveling or you have a lot going on with work. So ask her on the second date once she signals that she enjoyed the first date.
What to do if she doesn't seem interested? If she takes more than 24 hours to reply to your text or her response seems lukewarm, it is very possible that she doesn't want a second date. And that's okay. There are literally 1000 reasons that have nothing to do with you that she may not want to go out again. The only way to know for sure if she is or isn't interested is to ask her out again. Is it okay to call instead of text after a first date? There aren't any firm rules here, but texting tends to be the norm for how people communicate at least on the first few dates.
So unless you are confident she will appreciate a phone call, your best bet is just to stick with text. Will a woman ever text first after a first date? Sometimes. Again, no firm rules here and it is usually a good sign if the girl texts you first after the date. Of course, unless the message is, I had fun, but. . . This is obviously just a super small lesson on texting, but if you found it helpful, I highly recommend you check out my texting OS course which I will link below. It covers everything you need to know to go from meeting or matching to relationship with zero stress or anxiety.
It is designed so you never send the wrong message again. And of course, if you found this helpful, tap that subscribe button so you are the first to know when I upload new videos. Happy dating!.
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